Saturday, May 08, 2010

BIG emotions. lots of CONFUSION.

Recently I've started waking up with songs by Mucc stuck in my head. Now, for those of you...which are most of you...who haven't a clue who Mucc (pronounced "Muc-Koo") are, they're a Japanese rock band. Been around a little over ten years and musically, they tend to play whatever they want. But most often it tends to have a darker, funkier, quirky sound, that I'm enjoying presently. One day last week I woke up with the words, "La-la-la. La-la-la. La-la-la-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la-la-la-lahhhh" melodically running through my head ("Yasashii Uta").

This morning, I haven't a CLUE what the words were, but the sound was there. BIG, slightly funky and loud, but with an underlying smoothness that left me feeling like the day wasn't going to be too bad. It took me a moment to realize it was "Ame No Orchestra."

Anyway...I don't speak Japanese and probably never will. But, I've been waking up at least a couple of times a week with their songs stuck in my head and it's only been today that I've really been able to figure out why.

I'm in the midst of re-editing a story that I'd assumed I was done with.

Can't find the last chapter I wrote on another was mistakenly packed away and put in storage in a box with the word "Writing" on it. I have at least three boxes with that label on them and would take me half the day to get to them. I put the notebook away because I'd assumed that I'd typed everything in it up and put it on my thumb drive.

I recently discovered that my caffeine allergy has now expanded to the point where I can no longer eat chocolate and I'm just generally confused about what's going on in my life from one minute to the next.

However, as I was brushing my teeth and this music and lyrics I'll never understand outside of how they make me feel was just rolling through my mind, I realized that despite my confusion on where my life is currently headed and all that everyone wants from me...Presently, everyone wants something from me and aren't really concerned about how I feel about it. They just want what they want...I'm still fairly happy and hopeful underneath it all. I'm a little ticked off and can be in a bit of a funky mood at times although I'd do my best to not let it show beyond my tee shirt, makeup or hair. I'm still happy in all my confusion and just want my family to allow me to work through what's what on my own. Mind you, they're the cause for most of my annoyance. But that's another story that I'm just not going to go into, although JJ says I need to write a book about my family and their trifling ways and Dyanne says the best way to get over people ticking you off is to write them into a story and kill them off. It makes you feel better without the litigation.

In other words, LOTS of emotion. Lots of CONFUSION. But I'm going to be okay.

Isn't it amazing how music can help you express yourself even when you can't otherwise...EVEN when you can't understand a word that's being said?


No comments:

Post a Comment